Facebook chat with Brandon Mebane

Joel

MEBANE

IM BUYING YOUR JERSEY RIGHT NOW

9:49pmBrandon

thanks

9:49pmJoel

no prob man so pumped for the season to start

9:49pmBrandon

me to

9:49pmJoel

15+ sacks this year?

9:50pmBrandon

yep

9:51pmJoel

that's what i like to hear

I LOVE THE SEAHAWKS

Grant runs like a cheetah

Just a link to a hand history of Grant at the final table of the 9pm tourney on UB. Granted, up til now he had already bested AA with AK on a QJ10 AIPF and won like 45 flips. This one he got it in good but had some pretty entertaining runners. Oh ya, he's still in the tourney and is chipleader with 3 left. Without further ado,

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2905068

Current Standings!

	2008 WSOP Fantasy Standings
			Peter	Henry	Grant	Joel	Nate	Derek	Eric	Paul
	Current Standings		5	1	4	2	8	7	3	6
	Points Through # 53		186	346	208	280	66	96	214	176
	Pre-event Standings		3	1	5	4	2	7	8	6

Update through 12 events

Well, the WSOP is a week and two days old, and already some of our players have made some impressive showings. The only bracelet winner thus far was won by Erick Lindgren, who is on Team Henry "pwn" Vanderpol. Henry lies comfortably in the 2nd place slot only trailing (brag) myself, who went on a heater with Shannon Shorr and J.C. Tran final tabling event #7 and then Tom "durrr" Dwan taking 7th in the Mixed Game event. The only person still scoreless is Bubs, who has gotten extremely unlucky with his powerhouse squad. I look forward to his guys making a late push, especially Ted Forrest who was picked up instead of Derek Severson (lmao)

The following post will be the updated standings with points.

Here is the first update for rankings.

2008 WSOP Fantasy Standings
Team	Joel's Pre-event Ranking
Peter	3
Henry	1
Grant	5
Joel	4
Nate	2
Derek	7
Eric	8
Paul	6

Draft Recap

Team Pete
Draft Grade: B+
Pete has a great mix of young talent with quality old school players. Alex Jacob has a great record at the WSOP, and Danny Wong is soon becoming a world-class player. Although we all agree that Phil Hellmuth is by far the best no limit hold 'em player in the world, this scoring format does not benefit him greatly, as he will be playing the larger low-buyin hold 'em tournaments with only top-16 getting points. I can't question that pick too much though

Team Henry
Draft Grade: A-
Henry got the steal of the draft in the 3rd round with Erik Seidel. Negreanu is overdue to win a bracelet, and, if Johnny Chan and Hennegan play a full slate of tournaments, Henry's team could do some tremendous damage. Jennifer Tilly is an awful poker player. Nate would have all of her chips within 5 minutes.

Team Grant

Draft Grade: C+
Grant's team may have gotten an A if not for the Todd Brunson pick. I am contemplating making the 1st place finisher going and cutting off his pony tail. Many would argue that his first round pick was a stretch, with Ivey and Cunningham still available, but Greenstein should do good in the HORSE event and many of the Omaha events. Jordan Morgan was a steal in the 6th round. If Greenstein and Harman can stay away from Bobby's room and play a decent amount of tournaments, he might avoid playing in the Ceasar's daily women's tournament.

Team Joel
Draft Grade: B

Whereas I do really like my first three picks, Shannon Shorr might have been a reach in the 4th round. I had a feeling that Pete was going to take him, so I had to reach out and grab him. If he can avoid going bust with the 7-3 of hearts, I think he will be fine. Tom Dwan is an excellent online player who has had pretty decent success playing live. I am banking on perhaps one cash from Cindy Violette, probably in a stud tournament.

Team Nate
Draft Grade: A-
I am quite envious of Nate's 3 young-guns in Nam Le, Jeff Madsen, and Paul Wasicka. They are excellent NLHE tournament players and I would expect an average of 1 1/2 bracelets from the 3 of them in any given WSOP. I am sure that Nate was excited to snag Phil Ivey at the 5. If he can stay motivated and off the golf course every day, Phil should do very very well. JJ Lu is just weird. I think maybe we should have not made a mandatory woman rule. Noted for next year.

Team Derek
Draft Grade: F
This is almost as bad as Bubs. Gavin Smith is a drunk who will consistently play drunk Chinese Poker until about 8am and struggle out of bed by about 1:30 to try and play events. Let me point out who went in the same round after Smith: Nam Le, J.C. Tran, Gus Hansen, Erick Lindgren, and Alex Jacob. Might want to reconsider that pick, Derek. Humberto Brenes will get bluffed out of a $300k pot to Scotty Nguyen again, and we will all laugh in Derek's face. Derek saved himself a bit by picking a hot asian with his last pick.

Team Bubs
Draft Grade: A+
Solid picks with no flaws. I expect Shawn Sheikhan to win about 5 bracelets, and for Hachem to return to the Final Table of the Main Event only to get busted by Derek Severson along the way. I see zero flaws in the players taken by Bubs. Annie Duke is an excellent player, and (cliche coming) she isn't just one of the best female players in the world - she is one of the best players in the world. I expect Bubs to take this one down. No one else's team even compares player for player.

Team Paul
Draft Grade: C
Paul almost gets a beer can for not being able to participate in the draft due to his fiance being in town, but this was negated by the fact that he had the balls to take SCOTTY NGUYEN in the first round. I would really enjoy watching a drinking contest between Scotty Nguyen and Gavin Smith immediately followed by them playing in the final table of the main event playing for $8 million. Paul's picks would be incredible if this was the 1985 WSOP. Heck, maybe we can just take the results from that year and just simply transfer them over. Paul, you might want to consider dropping T.J. Cloutier and picking up . . . TED FORREST!!! (I think Nate would approve of that move).

I am going to be thinking of some more prizes, and if anyone has any other ideas - preferably related to Las Vegas, NV on September 5-8 - please let me know. Also, everyone will be able to make up to two roster moves by Thursday at midnight. Just post a blog on this website describing who you want to drop/add.

It is Finished!

Here are the results for the 2008 WSOP Fantasy Draft. To submit grievances or changes concerning nicknames please contact Joel Graves.

Team Peter "If I get off to a bad start in this, I will give it a 'i dont care' hand wave and say 'screw this'" Graves

Phil Hellmuth

Alex Jacob

Danny Wong

Andy Bloch

Kirk Morrison

Clonie Gowan

Team Henry "auto-bet/heater-check/PWN" VanderPol

Daniel Negreanu

Erick Lindgren

Erik Seidel

John Hennigan

Johnny Chan

Jennifer Tilly

Team Grant "me the Q-10/excellent bankroll management" Landram

Barry Greenstein

Gus Hansen

Lee Watkinson

Todd Brunson

Jennifer Harman-Tranniello

Jordan Morgan

Team Joel "Joel/Joel-little punish-the impregnator" Graves

Allen Cuningham

J.C. Tran

Michael Mizrachi

Shannon Shorr

Tom "Durrr" Dwan

Cyndi Violette

Team Nate "The-Banker/ I love Ted Forrest" Janda

Phil Ivey

Nam Le

Paul Wasicka

Chad Brown

Jeff Madsen

JJ Lu

Team Derek "I owe Pete an all-expense paid trip to Mariners game from last year" Severson

John Juanda

Gavin Smith

Humberto Brenes

Michael Binger

Jonathan little

Evelyn Ng

Team Eric "NLTHE AIPF TWIAA" VanderPol

Mike Matusow

Men Ngyuen

Annie Duke

Shawn Sheikhan

Joe Hachem

Derek Severson

Team Paul "Don't ask him anything political or economical/too small of a sample size " Graves

Scotty Nguyen

Chris Ferguson

T.J. Cloutier

David Chiu

Dewey Tomko

Anna Wroblewksi

Round 6

33. Paul - Anna Wroblewski

34. Bubs -Derek Severson

35. Derek - Evelyn Ng

36. Nate - J.J. Lu

37. Joel - Cyndi Violette

38. Grant - Jordan Morgan

39. Henry - Jennifer Tilly

40. Pete - Clonie Gowen

Round 5

25. Pete - Kirk Morrison

26. Henry - Johnny Chan

27. Grant - Jennifer Harmon

28. Joel - Tom "durrr" Dwan

29. Nate - Jeff Madsen

30. Derek - Jonathan Little

31. Bubs - Joe Hachem

32. Paul - Dewey Tomko

Round 4

25. Paul - David Chiu

26. Bubs - Shawn Sheikhan

27. Derek - Michael Binger

28. Nate - Chad Brown

29. Joel - Shannon Shorr

30. Grant - Todd Brunson

31. Henry - John Hennigan

32. Pete - Andy Bloch

Round 3

17. Pete - Danny Wong

18. Henry - Erik Seidel

19. Grant - Lee Watkinson

20. Joel - Michael Mizrachi

21. Nate - Paul Wasicka

22. Derek - Humberto Brenes

23. Bubs - Annie Duke (first female taken)

24. Paul - T.J. Cloutier

Round 2

9. Paul - Chris Ferguson

10. Bubs - Men Nguyen

11. Derek - Gavin Smith

12. Nate - Nam Le

13. Joel - J.C. Tran

14. Grant - Gus Hansen

15. Henry - Erick Lindgren

16. Pete - Alex Jacob

Moving on to round 3 . . .

1st Round

Let the first round begin . . .

1. Pete - Phil Hellmuth (obv.)

2. Henry - Daniel Negreanu

3. Grant - Barry Greenstein

4. Joel - Allen Cunningham

5. Nate - Phil Ivey

6. Derek - John Juanda

7. Bubs - Mike Matusow

8. Paul - Scotty Nguyen

That does it for the first round . . . 2nd round upcoming

Prizes

Here are the prize breakdowns:

7th and 8th place will have to play in a women's tournament while in Vegas September 5-8th.

Most top-16 finishers - $10 from every person

8th pays 1st an all-expense paid trip to a mariners game

7th pays 2nd a night of drinks

6th pays 3rd $30 in casino chips in Vegas

5th and 4th must play at least a 5-hour session in a casino where all of their winnings go towards the Vegas fund.

These were just what I came up with off the top of my head. More will be coming based on input from everyone before the WSOP starts on Friday. Good luck to everyone, and I will be posting picks starting at 6.

2008 WSOP Fantasy Draft

Welcome to the Draft Room:

We will start at 6pm, although the first two picks have already been decided. Here is the draft order:

1. Pete
2. Henry
3. Grant
4. Joel
5. Nate
6. Derek
7. Bubs
8. Paul

It will be a snake order draft. There will be 6 rounds with each person requiring to take one female (for affirmative action purposes). We will be including every event, including women's tournaments. The main event points will be double. Here are the point breakdowns:

Anytime a player from your list makes the top 16 in one of the tournaments you'll earn the following points based on their finish in the tournament:

1st. 50 points
2nd. 44 points
3rd. 40 points
4th. 36 points
5th. 32 points
6th. 28 points
7th. 24 points
8th. 20 points
9th. 16 points
10th. 14 points
11th. 12 points
12th. 10 points
13th. 8 points
14th. 6 points
15th. 4 points
16th. 2 points

The next post will be the prize breakdowns.

John Mclaren will cost the Mariners this year

This post is about a team that Joel loves, the Seattle Mariners. That is its only connection to Joel's 21st birthday.

If last night's Mariners game was a season preview, we are in for a long, frustrating one. The Mariners attempted two steals, and got caught twice. This is a poor strategy.

Here is a run expectancy matrix: http://www.tangotiger.net/RE9902.html. With a runner on and no outs, a team can expect to score, over the course of a season, about 0.95 runs an inning. With a runner on second and no outs (a successful steal), the team can expect 1.18 runs, or an increase of .23 runs. With no on and one out (a caught stealing) a team can expect 0.29 runs, or a loss of .66 runs. So a caught stealing is about three times worse than a stolen base is better, both compared with staying pat. That is, a team needs a 75 percent success rate just to break even. (This discussion could, of course, be extended to every other out/runner situation, but a rough argument here can stand in for a more refined one). Last year, the Mariners stole 80 bases, and were caught 31 times, for a success rate of 72 percent. But with Mclaren threatening to run more, his only option is to run more with players who are not as good at stealing, so the success percentage is sure to go down. Given that the Mariners are already below the 75 percent level needed just to break even, this year will only get worse.

There are two quick retorts that merit discussion. First, Jose Lopez was not told to attempt the steal on third. This would work well as an argument if Mclaren had spent spring training talking about run expectancies and the virtue of not running, but he did not. He told his team, his coaches, and the media that he wanted the team to run a lot. Lopez was just applying specifically what his manager pounded into him generally. Second, a team like the Mariners has to run, because they will not hit many home runs. This strikes me as an even stronger argument not to run. The Mariners only get 27 outs a game, and fewer of those opportunities will result in guaranteed scores via home runs. Why give outs away when the return is tiny compared to the risk?

There is a third retort, which is that announcers always applaud when a manager tries to steal. But being a good manager means doing what will give you the best chance of winning games, not what Joe Morgan thinks is great. If we continue to run a lot, we will lose more games than we would otherwise.

Sovereign wealth funds and non-essential assets: a rebuttal to the Lou Dobbs

PSYCH! I am not going to write (on this page anyway) about sovereign wealth funds investing in American banks. If I were, I would write about how great it is that China gives us cheap, huge, plasma TVs; that all they want in exchange are rapidly less-valuable pictures of Benjamin Franklin; and that, to top it all off, they give us back those pictures! Hooray!

But no, that is not what this post is about. I would like, again, to ask for suggestions. You see, Joel's 21st birthday in Las Vegas is not just Joel's 21st birthday. Eric Vanderpol, Derek Severson, and me (Paul, Joel's brother) are all getting married this fall. So Las Vegas on September 5-8 will be a 21 run and three bachelor parties. My goodness, will it be fun. I want to create shirts for Eric, Derek, and me. I have a few ideas for shirt slogans kicking around, and I would like to hear more. Here are some of mine:

My fiance is hotter than you.
[Front] Sorry ladies, off the market, [Back] but this knob job next to me, the one with the sideways trucker cap, is single, if you can believe it.
Marriage: the ultimate run-on sentence.

New tack

Seeing as how none of you people (I assume this site receives 20,000 unique views a day, and that's my conservative guess) have any good stories about Joel--see post immediately below--I've decided to switch to a new strategy to get comments.

I want to get some new nicknames for Joel Graves. As a disclaimer, I am not a big nickname guy. I think they are great, but I am intellectually lazy, and never have the stamina or wherewithall to sit around and think up nicknames for people.

But I'm different when it comes to Joel. You see, when Joel was a youngster, we started calling him Judge Judith Sheindlin. This was in Judge Judy's halcyon days, when people actually watched her mete out vengeful justice on whichever white trash party in front of her seemed more repugnant morally. Maybe they still do; I have a job now, and don't watch her anymore. Most of my generalizations about humanity are just saying things I do, but prefacing them with the word 'everyone', or sometimes 'no one.' So "I don't watch Judge Judy anymore" becomes "No one watches Judge Judy anymore." "I am a huge Seattle sports fan" turns into "everyone is a huge Seattle sports fan," a proposition provably false. As a side note, this is what most op-ed columnists do.

Anyway, we called Joel Judge Judith Scheindlin. That started getting prolix, so we shortened it to Judge Judy. After a while, even that go hard to say, so it became simply Judy. This whole thing was a lot more tolerable for Joel (which is not to say it was very tolerable at all) when it was Judge Judy, because being called a girl's didn't have quite the same ring without the word Judge in front. So we shortened it to Jude.

I (Paul, Joel's older brother) have been calling Joel Jude for around a decade, but I need something new. As Joel enters his manhood, it's time we all got together and brainstormed some new nicknames for Joel. Just add your suggestion to the comments.

Great Joel stories

If you are visiting this website, either (a) you are a friend of Joel David Graves, (b) you wish you were friends with Joel David Graves, and are trying to gain some insight into how to be his friend, or (c) you are a frat guy who googled "21 run." If you are (b), Joel is a pretty nice guy, and if you ask to be his friend, he will probably say yes. If (c), you probably go to a big-ten school, and so are having trouble reading this since you are only semi-literate. The rest of this post is for the (a) people.

I am looking for good Joel stories. Add some to the comments below. If you can login and write one, do it. Here's one I have:

In the mid-1990s, Joel, Peter (his brother), and me (Paul, his other brother), frequently watched the World Wrestling Federation. By frequently, I mean every Monday, Thursday, and four Sundays a year. Beyond those days, however, we had markedly differing views on what counted as good television. To preempt any major fights over the remote control, we created the Remote Championship.

The rules were simple enough. Every Monday, during WWF's Monday Night Raw program, the reigning remote champion defended his title against the number one challenger in a tough game of ping-pong. The winner had despotic control over the remote for the week. The number one challenger, in turn, was decided every Thursday, during Smackdown. The two non-remote champions would play, with the winner emerging as the number one challenger.

If you know Joel's ability at odd sports, you can see where this was headed. If the Olympics ever create a pentathalon of off-the-beaten-path sort-of sports, I want Joel representing America. From golf to dodgeball, badminton to volleyball to bowling, Joel is all world. This includes ping-pong.

He wasn't always that way. Joel has worked for his ability to dominate most people at games like pickleball, not to mention just plain pickle (a story for another time). When we created the remote championship, Joel would take a beating on Thursday, demoralizing his spirit for the whole week. But, like a hostage taker who has nothing to live for, Joel did not give up. Eventually, the remote championship was a joke. Joel won nearly every week.

Thankfully, Peter and I were still bigger, and so had the muscle to declare an end to the remote championship and place control over the remote back in the hands of those who deserved it: anyone but Joel.

I was there...

The following is an version of the Saint Crispen's Day Speech from William Shakespeare's Henry V, updated to get you excited, not about battle, but about Joel's 21st birthday in Vegas. The updates are in brackets.

Rather proclaim it, [Joel], through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for [no-limit] put into his purse;
We would not [gamble] in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to [gamble] with us.
This day is call'd the [celebration of Joel's 21st birthday.]
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of [Joel Joel.]
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is [Joel's birthday.']
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on [Joel's birthday.']
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
[Joel Graves], [Bubba] and [Derek],
[Peter] and [Twan], [Paul] and [Nate-Thaniel]-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And [Joel's birthday] shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that [plays some crazy table games] with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in [Washington] now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That [gambled] with us upon [Joel's 21st birthday.]

218 days and counting...

Just wanted to let everyone know that we are just over 8 months until the day that we all have been waiting for will arrive. That's right, the chains will be broken, the burden will be lifted, and I, Joel David Graves, will be turning 21 years old. I am not going to try and predict the events that will go down in Las Vegas, NV during that weekend but they will hopefully be unprecedented.

This weekend will also serve as 3 bachelor parties for Derek, Bubs, and Paul (might be unofficial, but it just gives us another excuse to get shitty).

This site will serve as the new website for updates so please get the word out.